Hey all,
It has been a little over four months being Mrs. Jenna Lang and I'm sure some of you have been wondering how we are doing. I meant to write updates like this one sooner and I did write one but then never posted it because we do not have wifi at the Lang home. So, let me begin. Adam and I got married (finally) on May 22, 2015. Yes! Oh my goodness, I cannot explain to you the rollercoaster of emotions that went on that day.
- Joy, lots of joy.
- But also frustration (having all the attention on you is surprisingly stressful and undesired for an introvert like me)
- And repentance (to your sister for that unexpected outburst you had with her and to your mom for being a bit of a frazzled bridezilla at points during those last couple of hours when you were tired of not being married and ready to just elope already because what is the point of all this stress that we've been going through the past 5 months?!).
- There's also the nervousness of not knowing how your hair will look (it's usually always just down straight...oh my goodness if it's not down straight I won't even look like myself in the pictures! An updo? Are you serious? What if it makes me look like I have too skinny of a head...No. My hair must be down.)
- Or how your makeup will look (but...I don't wear makeup. I should wear makeup. Right? Maybe I shouldn't. Oh gosh. He won't recognize me if I wear it! But if I don't then I won't be fancy enough for the wedding. Okay...but only a little bit of makeup. Seriously Fallon. Don't toy with me on this one. You can do my makeup. But only a little bit. Natural. Make it look like I'm not wearing makeup. I shouldn't have done this. Yes, I should have. Everything is fine. Stop panicking.)
- Annoyance with the fact that you've spent all day girling yourself up when you just want to be married already. (Why did we choose 5 pm again? Oh because the pictures would be good for lighting? Psh. Who even cares about lighting? Or pictures? Or weddings for that matter? Can I be married now? Please??)
- Feeling like a jerk (because, oh crap...I forgot to invite so and so...and I'm being kind of a brat right now because the fact that I'm getting married is now so close that it is unbearable. And where were you? We were supposed to be taking pictures right now, but I'm all grouchy and stuff.)
- But mostly joy. People talk about cold feet and if my feet were cold at all it was not because I had any hesitations about marrying this man that I now call my husband. It was because the day was a little bit cloudy (perfect for pictures might I add) and I had open toed shoes. My heart was fluttering inside of my chest more and more as the time drew near to my marrying Adam. I have never experienced that feeling before this moment. My heart and soul longed after Adam. I was in anguish over not being able to be his wife right in that moment. The day of our wedding was one of the longest days of my life. It seemed to drag on for eternity. I have never been more ready for anything in all of my days. Saying "I do" could not come fast enough.
For those who don't know, Adam and I had the Beautiful gift of seeing one another before the wedding ceremony. Some traditions frown upon that, but it was one of the highlights of my day. Getting picked up by my fancy fiancé after getting my nails done and grabbing a coffee with him did wonders for my soul. As I sat across from this handsome and wonderful man (who I am happily sitting in front of this very moment) my heart leapt for joy. God has blessed me overmuch. There is no one with whom I can imagine spending my life with outside of Adam Lang. We sat and talked and prayed together in that coffee shop, exchanged gifts and hugs, and parted ways until we would meet again at the altar in a few short hours. That coffee date with my husband was a Beautiful moment that I will treasure in my heart forever.
I got to go home to a house full of women who love me and who dedicated an incredible amount of time into making this day Beautiful and as stress free as possible. We did last minute wedding things. I wrote letters to my Mom and to Adam. We figured out how to do my hair (having never tried it or deciding n a style for sure until that moment which was slightly terrifying for the girl who only knows how to put her hair in a ponytail). We got lots of lovely pictures from the photographer even though many in that house that day felt run ragged and more ready for a nap than for a wedding. The day was full of excitement, rushing about to get those last minute things done, emotion (good and bad), and we even had some redemption thrown in (when I apologized for my craziness and was able to begin anew with my maid of honor and best friend who so graciously loved me through my weak moment and proceeded to love me through doing my makeup for me).
I got to have one last sleepover as a Reynolds with my baby sister, confidant, shoulder to cry on, best friend, and maid of honor. I got to fall asleep talking to her like old times, keeping each other up late as we caught up on the other's life, listening to the venting that comes with being best friends with sisters, and laughing our heads off about anything and everything. I got to spend so much time with her and reminisce and fill our hearts with inside jokes and promises to love each other forever and always be there for one another.
I got to have so many moments with my Mom as we caught up, finished wedding planning, and soaked up the moments we had that week. I saw how much she did for me and how much she sacrificed and how much she loved even when I was not the most gracious recipient.
I got to have one of my dearest friends come in nearly a week early and stay with me, filling me up, having deep conversations, sharing her story with me, and displaying through her gentleness and humility how I ought to act and love the people around me through this Beautiful time of preparation.
I got to walk in on one of my best friends on her face before God fervently praying for me and my marriage with Adam. I was edified and uplifted by her gracious words and affirming love and belief in me.
I got to see the servant heart of one of my best friends as she sought to love my mother in every way that she could by taking care of little things (that are actually very big things) like washing glasses so she didn't have to and having an ever joyful heart as she poured out herself to all those she met.
I got to see the gentleness of one of my best friends as she drove me to the wedding venue, comforting me and offering exhortation as I struggled with the turmoil going on within me that one feels as she comes near to her wedding ceremony.
I got to see Jesus all around me through the people I was with. I got to see people sacrificing time, money, and energy to be there with me. I got to snuggle my baby cousin who has always been one of my best friends from the day she was born. I got to laugh with my aunt who grew up babysitting me. I got to dress more Beautifully than I ever have before to present myself as a pure and spotless bride, because of Christ in me, to my groom. I got to take silly pictures and sassy pictures and sentimental pictures.
Even in the stressful moments, that day was Beautiful.
Even when my sister lost her way when she tried to get back to us and could not for the life of her figure out how to get back to the church directly behind the gazebo she was just at, that day was Beautiful.
Even when I got short with people and regretted my actions wishing I had had better self-control, that day was Beautiful.
It wasn't Beautiful because of anything I did, because honestly that day would have been messed up if I had been in charge. It was Beautiful because of Christ. It was Beautiful because this marriage is not centered on Adam and I being good enough for one another. It is not centered on us being perfect examples of Christ's love to one another. The foundation and surety of this marriage does not lay in our hands. It lay in Christ's hands. We dedicate this marriage to Him daily. When we said, "I do," we did not do it in our own power.
We are weak.
We will fail one another.
We will let each other down more times than we would ever like.
But Christ is faithful in spite of our shortcomings. He orchestrated this. And I am ever so thankful.
I could not have picked a better love story.
I could not have chosen a better husband.
I could never imagine a love as glorious as this.
And yet.
This marriage pales in comparison with Christ's love and dedication and marriage to the church. If Adam loves me as much as he says he does, then Christ's love must be enormous. The only reason I can even begin to fathom the love that the Father has for us is because of my marriage relationship to Adam. He has shown me more of who Christ is than all the people on this planet past, present, and future combined.
This one man has taught me what love is.
He has taught me what faithfulness is.
He has taught me who Christ is.
He has poured his life into me.
He has changed me for the good.
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