We have been married for almost 9 months now, and I wouldn't change a thing. We live in a beautiful and perfect-sized one bedroom apartment (with a view) about a minute's walk away from Union University where Adam is finishing up school. The view is a small patch of trees, but hey, it's way better than the parking lot facing apartments.
Part of me never wants to leave this apartment, because it is OUR home. Our first home together. We have so many memories here. I never thought moving so far from Kansas City could be so easy, but being with the love of my life and best friend made our transition to full-time life in Jackson, TN fluid. Married life definitely has it's struggles and if we weren't followers of Christ, I'm sure our struggles could cause some vast rifts in our relationship, but thankfully we have a redeeming Father who teaches us the meaning of unconditional love.
In spite of any conflicts that may arise, marriage is the most Beautiful thing that I have ever had the pleasure of being a part of. Seeing Adam daily develop into the man that God specifically created him to be brings deep joy to my soul. Standing beside him and walking through life with him has been the most wonderful adventure a girl could ask for. Seeing him love me through all my selfishness, emotional breakdowns, and my sinful nature is the most Beautiful love story of all. If I was perfect and he was perfect, it would make sense for us to love each other.
But I am imperfect.
I am broken.
I fall into old habits of anger and impulsiveness and control and fear.
And he is imperfect.
He is broken.
He falls into old habits, too.
We are broken.
Together.
We are works in progress.
Together.
We are daily being sanctified by our gracious Lord.
Together.
And through it all, we don't go about loving each other by pointing the finger and blaming each other for the ways they fall short. We love each other. We respect each other. As unconditionally as we can through God's grace. We are more than aware of the ways we fall short, disappoint, and hurt one another. We understand more clearly than anyone else could that we are selfish and depraved. And through the selfishness and through the brokenness, we find hope in our Savior.
Through all the junk, we can see who the other person was created to be. We can look through the mess and see the message that God has written on their hearts. We can look each other in the eyes. We can wrap each other in a hug. And we can say, "This isn't who you are. I know you. You are ___."
You are a child of the one true God.
You are redeemed and you do not have to return to your sin.
You are worthy of my love and respect and affection, even if you aren't acting lovable or respectable.
You are strong.
You are gentle.
You are an excellent leader for this family and I trust you.
You are a wonderful helper.
You are brave.
You aren’t who you used to be.
You aren’t your sins.
You are worth it.
No matter what happens. This, you and me, is worth it all.
If we have to have conflict every day for the rest of our lives, it was worth it.
If one of us dies tomorrow, it was worth it.
If we can never have kids, it was worth it.
If we never get into the career we wanted, it was worth it.
If all of our hopes and dreams are crushed, it was worth it.
No matter what. I am sticking with you and you are sticking with me, through it all. No matter how bad it gets. No matter what obstacles are put in our way. We will conquer them together. Because we choose to. We choose to now, in moments of calm. And we choose to every day, in moments of frustration, hurt, sorrow, joy, and in every other type of moment that life throws our way.
Lots of things have happened since Adam and I got married. We have travelled the “world” at least in part. Starting with our honeymoon to Alaska, followed shortly by a 10 day trip to New York City. In the past year, we’ve travelled far and wide. I was in Jamaica, Adam’s been to New York twice, we road tripped to South Carolina, spend most of our days in Tennessee (going to Memphis and Nashville when Jackson gets boring), and of course we travel to Kansas and Missouri for very important reasons ;) And soon, we will be in Arkansas for a wedding and we’ll jet up to Michigan this summer for another.
We have had all sorts of fun adventures together and more deep conversations than I could ever recount. We have begun laying the foundation for our marriage to be happy and healthy for years to come. We believe that God created our loves to be in a particular order.
We are called first to love God. He is the primary love.
Then, if one is married, they are called to love their spouse second.
This actually goes against the way that many Christians feel. But it is Scripturally clear that your husband or wife is supposed to take priority over your children. Some may not like to hear that, but it is true, and if your marriage isn’t founded on Christ and your loves are not in order, then your children will feel the weight of that. It is important for children to see that their parents love each other and take care of each other and for them to know that they cannot pit their parents against each other. And if they do, and the parents find out about it, consequences are a comin’.
We are called to then love our children.
Followed by other family, friends, etc.
It is our desire to start preparing ourselves in such a way that our loves are in order before we add children to the mix so they can come into an already healthy family. Adam and I consider children a great joy and we are excited to see what God has in store for us in the future regarding having our own children, adopting, or even fostering if God calls us to that.
Adam has one semester left of college before graduating Union University with his Bachelors in Biology with minors in Chemistry and Christian Ministry & Missions. He graduates in just a few short months! God has blessed us with a job for Adam at the AG Center in midtown and has also opened the door for him to be a part of the seminary internship through our church beginning next fall. We will be staying in Jackson until at least next summer because of this and we are thrilled to do that.
God has blessed us overmuch with a wonderful job and family to work with. I nanny full time for a family in town with a newborn. I have worked with him from day 1 and it has been a wonderful job and I love every minute of it. It is also such wonderful preparation for the day when I too may be a mother.
Jackson, TN is technically a rainforest. So, we’ve grown to love the rain. It’s here often, but it’s not fun when it’s cold outside already. Wet and cold aren't a good combo. We also have awesome neighbors in our apartment complex.
Next door we have a Muslim family. Amani and her husband are both 20 and they have been married for a couple of years now. They are from Yemen and I guess I always thought that Muslim girls must be so different from other girls, but when she comes over to my house for tea or we meet at her place for coffee, we talk and laugh, use sarcasm and take care of each other. Our conversations are usually slow going because, though she can speak English, Arabic is her first language and I talk fast. So, we slow down, ask a lot of questions of each other, and share our stories and what we believe with one another. Amani is a stay-at-home wife and she loves baking. She is great at it too, and she often brings me (not Adam, just me) baked goods, soups, and chicken and rice that she has made. She’s cool with Adam eating it, but she does not ever for any reason interact with Adam. She’s wonderful and it’s been a pleasure to get to know her and be a friend to her as she is very, very far from her home. And we found our recently that she is pregnant and will be having her baby this year!
We also have an elderly lady downstairs named Gael. She is sweet and wonderful and did not have any friends in the apartment complex until she met me. I have loved getting to know her. She gets lonely and depressed from being alone and not feeling useful anymore, but we are good friends who seek to take care of each other and visit with one another as often as we can. We like to sit outside and drink coffee in the summer and try to get out in the sun in the winter months when depression is looming. She texts me often, fondly calling me “Angel Butt” and “My girl.” It’s like having a grandma of my own right downstairs. She also recently taught me how to knit, intends to teach me how to sew, and I in turn will be teaching her how to scrapbook!
Many of our friends live in the apartment complex that we live in, so it is easy for us to have some of our closest friends over each Tuesday night for dinner and hanging out. And we have a wonderful, healthy, and missions oriented church full of people who love us, take care of us and seek our good. We have a wonderful family here, even though none of our biological family lives in this state. God has blessed us overmuch with people who will check up on us, ask us how we are really doing, and keep pointing us to Christ at all times.
I couldn’t have asked for a better husband and there is no one on this planet that I would rather spend the rest of my days with. Life is good. God is better.
