Contentment

God has shown me that when I call on him, he shows up. The other day I had a "date" with God. I had planned on going to the library to work on some research papers, but I saw my girlfriend Marcy just laying on the bench outside of Goodman. I stopped by for just a second to say hey and then head to get some work done. She talked to me for a while, and somehow God gave her the words that I needed to hear. She told me how beautiful I was not only on the outside, but on the inside. She said that I needed to hear that more than I did. She said that she didn't want me to leave, that she wanted me to stay there with her in God's glory. Just soaking up his sunshine and love. I wasn't going to be persuaded, I had work to do and I needed to get it done today, or else I was going to be stressed, plus I have my "God time" at 6:17 or 7:17 every morning. But something caused my heart to let go of the need to always be doing homework and I decided to stay. I put my backpack inside and grabbed my prayer journal. And I just wrote, I told God how much I loved and missed this kind of time with him. That I was sorry for not making these dates happen more often. He and I just sat outside together soaking up the time that we had together. We would brush my hair from my neck with his hand (or the wind) and he was speaking deeply into my heart. He kissed my face with the warmth from the sun, and I felt him all around me. He was letting me know that I don't have to be perfect, that even though I am broken, He still loves me no matter what. No matter what. I love those three words more than most in the English language. No matter what. Is that hard to believe? God will be there no matter what, no matter how much of a jerk I can be to him, no matter how many times my eyes drift from him to the things that this world has to offer. He sticks around. What kind of guy does that? God does. He isn't afraid of helping me deal with all the junk in my life. He doesn't mind cradling my heart in his hands like a tiny, vulnerable child. He sticks around? That is so awesome, I serve an awesome God. We serve an awesome God. I never felt more close to God in my entire life than I do now. God listens, he responds when we come to him with pure hearts. He might not answer verbally, but he answers. He answers by bringing people into your life like Marcy, girls who love you and want to help you heal. People who act as an intercessor for God when my ears and eyes are closed off to His love for me. Girls that aren't afraid to see me cry, even though they have only known me for 2 months. Girls like Lindsay, who know just what I need to get me through the day whether that be an encouraging word or a touch. Girls that have the same battles and struggles that I do, that can relate to me and love me for who I am and who I've been. Girls like Rachel who have the same sense of humor, who laugh at stupid things and invite me to spend a weekend with their family. Girls that wrestle with me and remind me of home. Family that even though they are miles away take such good care of me. Loving me any way that they can. Friends who come down to visit for no reason. God is everywhere, and sometimes I close my eyes to all the good things because I am so bogged down with the bad. He is so amazing, guys. More amazing than I ever realized or will realize. He is so cool, and he's the best guy to fall in love with. He will never let you fall, you might feel like he's not always there, but that is just Satan filling your head with his lies. God is always there, holding us and loving us more than we will ever be able to deserve. God is so stinkin awesome. And I'm learning more and more what the word awesome means, the more I fall in love with him. Falling in love with Jesus was the best decision that I have ever made, and ever will make and I don't regret it even one day. God is cooler than anything that this world can offer. He can heal the brokenness in you, it's a process sure, but he will bring people to you who can show you how much God really does love you. I can't say enough that God is Awesome! And he loves you