The CIY Experience

Wow, I didn't realize CIY would impact me as much as it has. The entire week was incredible and I miss seeing everyone, everyday.

The first day I thought that the youth group was pretty close, but as we moved on through the week i realized that we grew so much closer.

The second day, Al was telling us that if we couldn't tell each other things that were hurting us then we weren't really a church. That struck a nerve in me, but I think that was the impression that he was trying to make. When he said that it seemed like most everyone started to open up more. I was very surprised. Al and Erin thought that part of the reason we didn't want to share is that we didn't trust one another with our hearts. That's not the reason I was nervous. I was only afraid to cry in front of the boys, and I knew in my heart that if I spoke the flood gates were gonna open. As soon as, I started to speak i could feel a lump rise in my throat and I knew i was about to cry, but I just kept "talking" (if you can call it that) as best as I could between gulping the air. After i shared though it was as if a weight had been lifted, and I feel that it might have made others more comfortable by knowing that if they were to cry we would be there for them. When Evan shared, I saw that he started crying, so i went over to him and tried as best as i could to comfort my little brother. I have never before seen him cry, and it moved me to tears. After that night i was more comfortable crying in front of everyone, knowing that they would only be support.

Wednesday, for me, was the most moving day. When Erin prayed over us I could tell that she really cared about each and everyone of us. But when Al prayed for me, he wrapped me in a hug, and I started crying right then and there. Al for me is a man that I look up to with great respect, and in my mind is a father-figure that i look up to and admire. I felt like he really cared and loved me for who I was no matter what. When he finished praying I was in tears and i turned to Chrissy who was also bawling. We hugged each other and literally had a shoulder to cry on. It was nice to know that we were there for each other. Later on when we talked about why we had cried I told her how I never really feel like my own dad's care as much as Al and that it meant a lot to me that he treats me the way that he does. I feel like he has been there for me more than my own father and that is nice.

One day, I don't remember which day it was, we went to Bald Knob. That place kinda creeped me out. The little town did at least. The place where we were supposed to eat was filled to the brim with creepy dead animals and I don't think I could have eaten there. So Chrissy, Evan, and I went to this other place to get some food. After eating we went to this huge cross that was amazing, and we wrote notes to someone in our group. I wanted to write more than one, but I only got the chance to write two. (I wrote more when we got back to the dorms.) When I received the notes that my friends had written for me I was touched, and some almost made me cry. I read them now whenever I'm feeling bad and they cheer me right up.

Some of the exercises that we did really made me think. The one that impacted me the most was the play-doh idols. We created what we spend the majority of our time doing out of play-doh. Later on that evening we threw our play-doh into a basket, went to pray over each other with our youth groups, symbolically washed our hands of our idol, and proceeded to walk into the audotorium. When we entered we realized that we were literally stepping on our idols. The play-doh had been covered by plastic and we stepped on the things that kept us from God.

For me, it has been hard to stay as close to God as I was at CIY, but I know with Him I can accomplish all things. I just pray that I will keep Him in mind all the time.