This has to change

Oh my goodness women...I simply do not understand you. I am a woman, and I don't understand how we work, or why we do what we do. But ladies...I am ever so disappointed in how we often act. I have to say before I start into this, I used to hate girls. We have too much drama, we are way too emotional, and honestly, sometimes I see this used as an excuse to do whatever we want. We are insecure, when there is no reason for that, and really we blow everything out of proportion. I found that, by going to Ozark, I don't hate girls. I just don't like when we are fake. Ladies, I know that we all want love. We do. Deny it if you wish, but I see past that mask. I have never met a girl that didn't want love. Maybe not romantic love necessarily, but love. Love from our parents, love from our youth pastors, love from family and friends. We live on love. We thrive on love. And when we don't get love, we seek it out. In all the wrong places. I love all the girls that are reading this, I'm sure of it. Because, I've found that girls are really easy to love when they are real. I know we all have masks we hide behind. Masks of "popularity," masks that show we "have it all together," masks that cover up the hurt with a cute little smile. I know we have those. We are afraid of rejection, of not being good enough, and of missing the right guy. There are so many fears when it comes to love. I understand that. But what we really have to think about is how we are pursing this desire to be loved. Are we tripping over ourselves trying to get just anyone to like us. Are we chasing down boys that will fulfill our selfish physical desires, the desire to be wanted and needed? Or are we following closely behind God, dancing with Him, until He lets the right man cut in? I have a feeling that most of the time, we are just running. Running from God into the arms of any man that will have us. Why? Why do we do that? You don't want to be hurt, yet you let yourself change and mold into the image of lust for some boy. Why? Girls, I am disappointed. In myself, in you, in us. I've allowed myself to do some of the things that I hate seeing girls do. Dressing immodestly to attract attention to themselves. Flirting with anyone that would give me attention. I know I've been sheltered my whole life, and a lot of you don't think I understand where you are coming from, but we all struggle, we all stumble, but God can always lead us back to Him. Do you really think a guy who "loves" you for your body, loves you? If so, you're fooling yourselves! I have gone to lunch with girlfriends who's shirts were so low-cut that I couldn't help but see! And I am a girl, I don't wanna see that. How do you think a guy feels? You are setting them up for failure. Why do you think that there is a lack of chivalry, and good men in this world? Why? Not because they aren't out there, because I have met a ton of nice, Godly men, but because we are proving to them that they don't need to be. They don't need to honor and respect us. Because we don't honor and respect ourselves or each other. We tear each other down, and dress like we just want "love" for the night. You don't want that. I KNOW YOU DON'T. I know it's hard. It's hard to be modest. I get that. The culture tells us the less you wear, the more attractive you are. That's simply not true. It tells us that you need make up to be beautiful. IT'S A LIE! Gosh. I wish you could see yourselves in the eyes of Christ. Or even in the eyes of other girls. You are beautiful. You are. You don't need to show off your body. That is something that should be reserved for your husband. What good is it to go from relationship to relationship? You are setting you and your future husband up for divorce! Do you want that? I know you don't. Don't you want a healthy marriage? Don't you want to look back on your life and tell your kids without regret that you lived your life for Christ? I know that many reading this have lost their virginity, or have gone far enough that you don't feel like there is any going back for you. I'm here to tell you you're wrong. All sin is equal in the eyes of our Father. All sin. Sexual sin included. You can always start over. You can be a renewed virgin, patiently waiting on your prince. Ladies, you can't tell me it's impossible to wait. You can't. I have known tons of women who have waited, and I've met tons of men who have too. It's possible. It might be hard, and God never said it would be easy, but it's worth it. I'm 19 years old and have only ever kissed, and I have decided that from here on out I'm saving my next first kiss for my husband and only him. We can join together to protect each other's hearts, to keep each other accountable, and to remind each other of the love God has so willingly poured out on us. God knew what He was doing when He told us to wait. He wants this to be special, and when we treat it flippantly, we are telling God He's wrong. I love you girls, so much. I want the best for you. I want you to know that you don't have to dress, act, or be a certain way to get a guy. You don't have to lean on drinking, smoking, exploiting yourself, to find a guy. Sure, all those things might get you one, but that's not the kind of boy you're going to want. I promise. You deserve better. You are better. You are loved.

Watch this, this kid has some of the best advice on the topic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqF_PtugyBk

Thankfulness!! :)

Oh man, there is so much to be thankful for in this life. Sitting here at my house on my couch just soaking in the day it hit me how blessed I am. I have an incredible family, amazing friends, and the best life I could ever ask for! Holy cow, I am not even sure I can list all of the things that I am thankful for. I am so blessed to have my mom who has been with me through everything, my dad who has taught me a ton about life and how to endure through everything. I am thankful for Mark, my stepdad, who has been there since forever. I am thankful for my sister, Fallon, who is my best friend and closest ally in everything! I love her so stinking much! I am thankful for my best friend, Adam, and that God brought him into my life. I am thankful for my youth group and the impact that they have had on my life. I am thankful for my cousins, who are God's gift to us. They are automatic friends in this world. I am thankful for all of my aunts and uncles who have spoiled me rotten since the day I was born. I am thankful for my grandparents, great-grandparents, step-grandparents, etc. I don't know what I would do without them. They are so awesome. I am so freaking blessed and I am so thankful for that. I am thankful for my school and the amazing women who I can now call best friends there. Marcy, Lindsay, and Rachel, have been all I need and more in my time there. I am thankful for Grace, my best friend of 4 years, and all the junk we've gone through together. I am so thankful for everything. I am so blessed, I have two amazing churches that I am a part of and I love them both and the people in them. God has dramatically shifted everything in my life and I am so glad that He has. Jesus is my everything and I love Him more everyday. I sometimes forget to be thankful for all that He has blessed me with, and in that I sometimes forget to spend that time alone with my God. He is so awesome. He is all I have to be thankful for, because everything good comes through Him. I wish everyone knew the love that I know through my God. It is so indescribable. I love life, because I love God. I love my family, because I love him. I love the pain, the joy, and the sadness that comes with this life, because God has brought me through it all. I hope you all are having as wonderful a Thanksgiving as I am. And that you remember that there is so much to be thankful for.

And we wonder why

Ladies,

I have something that I would like to tell to you all. This is something that God has laid heavy on my heart. We all want love. It's how we are wired, God made women to desire love, and men to desire respect. Neither one is better or worse than the other, but it's how we work. However, if we really want this true love, from anyone, then we must first love ourselves. We must first love God. The reason this has been laid so heavy on my heart these past several days is because of Halloween. Halloween has become a day where women can go out wearing incredibly inappropriate clothing without batting an eye. I have seen more skin in pictures these last few days than I would ever like to see. I have seen so many girls dressing this way and then wondering why guys treat them like they are easy. Treat them with a "love" that lasts for the night, but is gone as soon as the sun is up. Girls, why do we do this to ourselves? You want love, and don't tell me that I am wrong, because I know it's true. But what you are getting is NOT love, and when you continue in your pursuit of this "love", you will NEVER find it. The boys that talk to you can say all the "romantic" things, they can play the part, and when you're used and broken, they are gone. And you are numb. Left wondering why. Why would he does this? Why didn't he love me? Or worse, you are left thinking that THIS is what love is about. Oh my goodness girls, this IS NOT LOVE! This is lust, this is called being used, and thrown away like trash. You ARE NOT trash! You deserve better, so why do you keep putting yourself into these situations? Why do you show off your body like some piece of meat for men to ogle at? Why do you put your body on display like some sort of trophy? Imagine that you had a daughter or a little sister and you caught her dressing and revealing her body the way that you do. I would hope you'd confront her, tell her what she's doing to the boys all around her. And don't start telling me that it's all the boy's fault for lusting after you. That is so ridiculous. I have had friends tell me that they should be allowed to wear whatever they want, and that boys should just control themselves. Are you kidding me? Think about it. Is it really their fault? Are they really just perverts? YOU are the one showing more than you want them to see! It makes no sense. It's like putting a sign out for "Free Chocolate" in a dorm filled with women, but telling them that when they get to the table they can't ACTUALLY have the chocolate. They can only look. You are responsible for the men that you bring down in sin. I can't deny that men might lust even when you're being modest, but we should be looking out for our brothers purity in everything. Even in the way we dress. You are loved the way you are, and finding a man that will love you for you is important. God will bring him about in His own time and way, but you must honor God with your body. Don't be dragged into believing the lies this world tells you. Don't be convinced that you have to dress a certain way to grab guys attention. You are going to get the wrong guy when you live life this way. However, God smiles on us when we worship Him, even in our modesty, and the right guy will love us for protecting our body from the world.

He lives

God is so alive and active. I feel that often times, we get caught up in all the junk going on that we forget to spend time with our loving Creator. He is, has been, and always will be there for us, longing to have a relationship with us. I know for me, I have had a hard time praying. I get distracted and begin to let my mind wander to other things. Or I'll close my eyes and realize that I have begun to dose off. Or, the worst of the worst, I'll pray, not expecting to hear anything. Not expecting that God can do what I am asking, or even what He wants. I put God in a box. My God is bigger than any box I can concoct on my own. God cannot be put into any box. He is showing me that it's okay. It's okay to set up a certain time everyday where I go to Him. I didn't make time for Him before I set that time aside, and now I desire to talk to Him every morning and through out my day. He is telling me that it's okay to have your eyes open when you pray. I always felt like I wasn't "religious" if I opened my eyes during prayer, but if I close my eyes I cannot focus my mind. God is showing me that He is BIG enough to answer my prayers. He is POWERFUL enough to make me hear His response. He is GOD. And that seems obvious to say, but He is. I am not. I am nothing, without Him. It is so cool to fall in love with God. I love falling deeper into His arms everyday, and I can't wait for what the next day will bring.

Contentment

God has shown me that when I call on him, he shows up. The other day I had a "date" with God. I had planned on going to the library to work on some research papers, but I saw my girlfriend Marcy just laying on the bench outside of Goodman. I stopped by for just a second to say hey and then head to get some work done. She talked to me for a while, and somehow God gave her the words that I needed to hear. She told me how beautiful I was not only on the outside, but on the inside. She said that I needed to hear that more than I did. She said that she didn't want me to leave, that she wanted me to stay there with her in God's glory. Just soaking up his sunshine and love. I wasn't going to be persuaded, I had work to do and I needed to get it done today, or else I was going to be stressed, plus I have my "God time" at 6:17 or 7:17 every morning. But something caused my heart to let go of the need to always be doing homework and I decided to stay. I put my backpack inside and grabbed my prayer journal. And I just wrote, I told God how much I loved and missed this kind of time with him. That I was sorry for not making these dates happen more often. He and I just sat outside together soaking up the time that we had together. We would brush my hair from my neck with his hand (or the wind) and he was speaking deeply into my heart. He kissed my face with the warmth from the sun, and I felt him all around me. He was letting me know that I don't have to be perfect, that even though I am broken, He still loves me no matter what. No matter what. I love those three words more than most in the English language. No matter what. Is that hard to believe? God will be there no matter what, no matter how much of a jerk I can be to him, no matter how many times my eyes drift from him to the things that this world has to offer. He sticks around. What kind of guy does that? God does. He isn't afraid of helping me deal with all the junk in my life. He doesn't mind cradling my heart in his hands like a tiny, vulnerable child. He sticks around? That is so awesome, I serve an awesome God. We serve an awesome God. I never felt more close to God in my entire life than I do now. God listens, he responds when we come to him with pure hearts. He might not answer verbally, but he answers. He answers by bringing people into your life like Marcy, girls who love you and want to help you heal. People who act as an intercessor for God when my ears and eyes are closed off to His love for me. Girls that aren't afraid to see me cry, even though they have only known me for 2 months. Girls like Lindsay, who know just what I need to get me through the day whether that be an encouraging word or a touch. Girls that have the same battles and struggles that I do, that can relate to me and love me for who I am and who I've been. Girls like Rachel who have the same sense of humor, who laugh at stupid things and invite me to spend a weekend with their family. Girls that wrestle with me and remind me of home. Family that even though they are miles away take such good care of me. Loving me any way that they can. Friends who come down to visit for no reason. God is everywhere, and sometimes I close my eyes to all the good things because I am so bogged down with the bad. He is so amazing, guys. More amazing than I ever realized or will realize. He is so cool, and he's the best guy to fall in love with. He will never let you fall, you might feel like he's not always there, but that is just Satan filling your head with his lies. God is always there, holding us and loving us more than we will ever be able to deserve. God is so stinkin awesome. And I'm learning more and more what the word awesome means, the more I fall in love with him. Falling in love with Jesus was the best decision that I have ever made, and ever will make and I don't regret it even one day. God is cooler than anything that this world can offer. He can heal the brokenness in you, it's a process sure, but he will bring people to you who can show you how much God really does love you. I can't say enough that God is Awesome! And he loves you

In want

I have realized that by being at Ozark Christian College, my desire to get married has been amplified. Why? Maybe because Ozark really is a college where it seems like half of the students are married or engaged or about to be engaged. I know I didn't come here to get my MRS. degree like so many say, but it's hard to not have the topic of marriage constantly on your mind when it is all around you. I know that God has put the desire for marriage deep in the hearts of his people from the beginning of time, I just never assumed that it would come about this way. And I know what you are thinking, NO I am not looking for a husband here on campus. Sick! But it is funny to watch all the freshmen boys and girls give hints that they like each other. It's not so much different from high school after all. Everyone is oblivious to the fact that this whole marriage thing might be consuming more of their time than is healthy. Even the girls in my group talk a lot about it, but we have discussed that talking in moderation and keeping God the focus is the key. God will do his will, in his time, with his people. Why does it seem like all of a sudden that marriage isn't such a farfetched idea? In high school, I felt like I was SO FAR away from even finding a husband, and then I get here and all of a sudden this want to get married kicks in. It's kinda weird. But I know that this is an area of my life that I will have to give to God just like so many other things. God is in control, and I am not (as much as I would sometimes like to be). And in his precious time, the day will come about, but until then I will wait. I will wait for months, for years, and even for decades if that so is God's plan (As much as I would not prefer the last one). Want does not equal need, and right now I need to place my feet, focus my eyes, and get comfortable because the road ahead is about to start flying by. In everything, I need to remember who is in charge and have faith that he knows what he's doing. He always does.

Beautiful, Fast, And Fleeting

Words that describe our life here on this earth. As I lay here on my dorm room bed, trying to go to sleep I was thinking and praying. And as I prayed, I thanked the Lord for specific people. "Thank you, God, for Fallon, who is the light of my heart. Thank you for my mom who has loved me through everything. And thank you for Adam, who's been a rock in my waterfall of emotion." And as I prayed that, I thought about waterfalls. And how our life is very similar to a waterfall. From a distance it is beautiful. One of the most glorious things that the eyes can see. It is full of color and life and serenity. When you approach the edge, things can get a bit scary and loud. There's so much noise, so many distractions, and one wrong placing of your foot could cause you to fall right off the edge. And when you get caught in the rapids, it's really hard to make your way back to the safe, happy place. And it can be scary losing your footing and flowing downstream. But God brings people who are our "rocks in the waterfall" into our lives. They are the ones who stick around, the ones who love you even when you've lost your way, even when you've gone downstream with no signs of stopping, even when you're broken, and scared and trying to pretend that everything is alright. They are there. God is our rock, but He also knows that we need people too, so He brings us people who will stick around and love us. Who let us yell at them to let off steam, who just hug us tight when we cry into their once clean shirts, and who make us laugh the most obnoxious and often ugly laughs that there ever was. He knows that although He is here to love us and spend time with us, that we need companionship. We need the support of the people around us. We need love. And He is a good God. He gives us wht we need. So, even when the waters get choppy, we have those people that just won't let us go. They can become our connection to God when we feel that He's far from us. They can show us that EVEN when everything is going wrong, God is STILL GOOD. And He always will be. Thank goodness, because we surely can't love like He does. Our time here on earth is just that, a time, and it's fleeting, but we can make a difference here. We can be the change that we wish to see in this world. Waterfalls are constantly changing the rock and the shorts that they encounter. Moving, molding, and wearing the rocks. Remember the waterfalls, and be a waterfall for Christ.