Ah, College!

Okay, I know I haven't updated this in a while, and I am sorry for that, but I'm doing it now! Okay, so I have been at college for a little over a week now. And trust me, it's not this big party that most people make college out to be. I have been up to my neck in studying, staying up late to finish work, and getting up early to get to class on time. So let's start from day one, mom and mark drove down with me and we got everything all settled into my bedroom, met my roommate, and got to browse the campus and the town. It was going well so far, kinda felt like a dream, but no tears had yet been shed, so everyone was good. We ate our meals together and at the end of the day, they went to their hotel, and I went to my dorm to spend my first night with a roommate. My lovely parents left the next day around 3 or so, and walking away from our car knowing that I wouldn't see them for a while sucked. I held it together pretty well, I cried a little bit, but I knew that in a few short days I would be re-united with several of my very favorite people, so I knew that I could hold on. When Fallon, Adam, Grace, and Anna showed up at my dorm my day was made! I was so excited to see them and spend my entire day with them. When they were about to leave for what seemed like the "final time", Fallon burst into tears and I quickly followed. I knew it would be harder this time. I knew that this time, we would have a span of time apart that we had never known before. And it hurt. Really bad. All the girls were crying in the lobby, trying to get it together. And when I hugged them all goodbye and walked them to their car, I didn't want them to leave. I couldn't hardly say goodbye. The walk back to my dorm this time was a long one. I didn't want to look back, and risk making their last image of me crying my eyes out as they drove away. I went to my room to cry in peace, and stayed there for quite some time after they left. I was texting Fallon as they were driving away, and I had put a special note into each of their bags for them to find when they left. The days following their departure were the hardest days I had to face. It is still hard when I think of them and my parents, and all the people that I seemingly "left behind". But everyday God makes it easier, makes me stronger, and helps me to grow in Him. God has brought me the most incredible group of girls, and without them, there's no way I would be able to handle being so far away from the ones that I love most. God knew just what I needed when I came here. He knew that I needed people that I could call my family. He knew I needed someone just like Marcy, who has some of the same loneliness that I do, and constantly amazes me with the pictures that she takes. He knew I would need Lindsay, who almost kills us everytime she drives, but keeps us constantly entertained. He knew that I would need Rachel, who laughs at everything, just like I do, even when it's not that funny. He knew I would need a family here. A group of girls who would help me to grow in my faith and help me lay my burden's at my Makers feet. God provides. He really does. Even when we feel like we've made a mistake in leaving our families 2.5 hours away. Even when we question our choices. Even when we are broken on our bed, crying out to God to bring them back. God knows. God loves. And God provides. He even provides skype ;) What a great God we serve. That He would see to the depths of my heart and pain, and heal all that is broken. I still get lonesome for you guys, every day, but I know that God will get us through and that I have a family here too when I leave.

Separate, Set Apart, Holy

Okay, so I haven't blogged in a long time, but I've had a lot of stuff
on my mind to blog about.
The first of many is this. Holy.
I love that word. For some reason whenever I hear that my God is a
holy God, I smile. I just think that holy is one of the very best
words to describe him. It means set apart, different. And that meaning
pretty much captures God. He is like us, but so much different. We
were made in His image, yet there is no way that we could ever wrap
our minds around His majesty. His love for us is different, separate, holy. His forgiveness for us is different, separate, holy. God is different, set apart, holy.

And the crazy thing about this word,

holy, is that it's the only word used 3 times in a row to describe our
God. Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty. In the bible, when
something is mentioned twice, you are supposed to be paying attention,
but when something is said 3 times it must be really important. And
holy is the one word repeated 3 times to describe our Loving Father.
He is different, set apart from anything or anyone that we've ever
seen before. But when Sunday rolls around how many of us are thinking,
"My God is a HOLY God!" I know for me, I would always sing the songs
without really thinking about what they meant, or read the words on
the screen not thinking that the God I serve is different. Holy. He is
so awesome and indescribable and we just say holy, holy, holy, as if it
means nothing. But when we dig into what the Bible says and what it
means, the only thing we can do is worship our God more, love Him
deeper, and serve Him better. After all he is a Holy God. Holy.
Separate. Set apart. Different. Holy.

This one's for the girls

Okay ladies, many of you are not going to be happy to hear this. But modesty matters. I know the thoughts that go through many of your heads that boys should just control themselves, or maybe just stop being perverted. Right? Well, after talking to many boys and doing some research, I've found that lust is not only common in pedophiles and creeps. It happens to the strong Christian boys and men that many of us know. Guys are meant to be attracted to women, but men are more "physically drawn" then us women are. It is our job as loving sisters in Christ to help keep them pure. By watching what we wear, we are helping these boys that we know and love, keep their focus on what's really important. God. When we go to church dressed in low cut tops, short shorts, or skimpy dresses, we make it difficult for men to truly rest in God's peace. The best way to love our brothers is to dress in a way that is pleasing to God. There are so many videos on modesty on youtube, but I picked a few that tell it like it is. Boys out there are struggling with lust daily, and it's our fault. There's no way around it. I know many times I have gone shopping, looking for something new and cute to wear, but I couldn't find anything that was cute and modest. I remember that for almost my entire life, I just wanted to wear a bikini, like all the other girls. I just wanted to fit in, and be "normal". But after thinking long and hard about it, I realized that if I wouldn't go out of the house in my under garments, then why would I allow my body to be so exposed as to wear a bikini. By wearing items of clothing that reveal so much of my body I am hurting the boys that I am called to love. I am causing them to sin. Causing them to stumble, and turn from our God. I finally realized why my parents didn't allow us to wear those items of clothing, and decided for myself to refrain from buying one. No matter how "cute" it is. So, anyways...that's my rant on modesty. I am definitely open to a discussion on this topic. But there are some videos here that I think are really important to watch. I know one is super duper long, but it's worth watching. Trust me.

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=KLKZZWNX

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWKipaNH83E

Anything But Normal

So, I realized today how little I appreciate God's handiwork. I pass by His artwork on a daily basis, as if it's normal. Normal. What a strange word to describe our God. He is anything but normal. And His work is so magnificent. I miss it. I drive around this beautiful planet, and I forget to look around and soak in the beauty. While driving home tonight from around 12 hours at work, I realized that the sun was setting. Everything around me was covered in this orange glow that just penetrated, even the buildings. Making everything reflect the sun's fiery decent. I just giggled at the fact that I miss those precious moments with God. To thank Him for His beautiful acts of kindness. I feel like God set the sun tonight just for me. To make me see how incredible He is. Just when I needed Him most, He came through. Just like He always does. He never fails to reveal Himself when I choose to open my eyes. I have to be honest that this week hasn't been going too well. I have had a lot of unnecessary and unwanted drama from the little things to random (semi-larger) things. I have been stressed, and honestly didn't want to turn to God. I was tired of dealing with any human being. But God came and found me. Found me, when I was walking in the opposite direction. He found me through a sunset. A sunset that turned me attitude and my week around. God works through the little things. I'm sure that this isn't the first time that God has tried to get my attention this week, but it's the first time that I have noticed how Awesome my God is. And I am so thankful that I have Him to turn to when I am in need, when I just want to talk, or when I'm in any sort of mood. He can handle me at my worst, when some can't even handle me at my best. Without Him my life wouldn't be worth living. And I can never thank Him enough for the life He's given me. I love His creation, and everything in it. He is so creative, and getting to know Him deeper is all that I want out of life.

The Simple Things

Okay, so last week-ish, I got the opprotunity to go to camp. Camp is awesome, it's a great time to get to know new people, see old friends, and get eaten alive by scary flying bugs. (Well, the scary one's don't actually bite, but it'd be really scary if they did...) Whenever I go to camp, I don't really expect to learn much, it's generally just a refreshment of knowledge that I already had. But this year was different. I learned a little bit from being in the classes that were offered, but God gave me so much experience in life just through the people that I chose to get to know.

To begin with, I met a 14 year old boy named Anthony. He lived next door to the camp at a "foster home" type of environment called Show Me Christian Youth Home. One day, he was sitting alone so I came up and started talking to him. The crazy thing is, he talked back. Not just a "Hi, how are you?" type of conversation, but more of a "Hey, what's God been doing in your life?" type. I wanted to ask why he was in the home, but I didn't know him well enough to just dive right in. He began to tell me his testimony, even before I asked. He told me about how he hung out with a bad group of kids. It almost made it sound like some sort of drug dealing situation. And he was the middleman. He would deliver whatever he was told to, in order to get some sort of reward. One day he finally realized that what he was doing was wrong, and decided to turn around from that sort of thing. Well, in the situation that he was in, that was a bad idea. His mom began to notice changes in his attitude, and one day his group of "friends" beat him senseless for bailing. Remember this kid was 14 at camp, so when he was beat, he was even younger. This absolutely broke my heart, but he kept chugging along with his story. He said that he got involved with the boys and girls club, and at one point was sent to a place that was like juvy, but more long term. Now, Anthony had an anger problem, so when it came time to leave the facility, he didn't want to go home. He didn't trust himself with his mom, and he wanted to go somewhere that could teach him what to do with his anger. He wanted so badly to do the right thing. So, he ended up going to Show Me. He was baptized, (even though his mother was against it) and he is living his life for the glory of God now. He is an amazing kid, that has such a testimony to show to the world. During our week of camp, he went up on stage and told the entire camp about just a part of his testimony. I was so proud of him. I remember him coming up to me the day before going on stage and just glowing. He told me, "Jenna, I am going to talk today at chapel. I am going to tell people about me." And he did, he told everyone that God is there through whatever. They didn't get as deep a look into his story as I did, but I couldn't help but feel like a proud mother (I know I'm not his mom, but I felt like a proud mother...weird, I know) watching her kiddo spread his wings. He was the first of many that I encountered that week.

Shortly after meeting Anthony, I met a girl named Kara. She was a bit younger then me, but you couldn't find two girls more different. She had bright red, frizzy hair, was super shy, and seemed to separate herself from every one around her. We started talking during our free time one day and surprisingly, she opened up just as much as Anthony. I don't remember what we started talking about that brought up the subject, but we started talking about purity. There was a class called "Taking a stand for Biblical Sexuality". It was a great class that talked about saving yourself for marriage, and how much better it is then just giving your heart away. I had a gut feeling from just talking for a few minutes that this whole physical purity thing didn't apply to her. I started telling her that even if she wasn't a "physical virgin" anymore, that anyone can be renewed in Christ to become "new virgins". That she didn't have to give up just because she's made a mistake. She then admitted that she wasn't a virgin, and that she had felt God tugging on her heart to change. She didn't know what it was that she needed to change, but she knew she needed to change something. The relationship that Kara seemed to have with her boyfriend seemed more based on (excuse my wording) sexual desires as opposed to a healthy God-fearing relationship. She kept telling me that she "loved" this boy. This boy who used her, and pretty much cheated on her. But she was admitting that maybe it was because they became intimate that she had those feelings. We were able to talk about what kind of relationship that she would want, or that she knows God would want for her. One based on love, respect, trust, and honesty. We talked for what seemed like hours, and she opened up to me way more than I would expect from a complete stranger. And I really felt God gave her to me for the exact reason of showing her that she can start new. The crazy thing about God is that He only gives you as much as you can handle. So, He knew that I was ready and able to talk to this girl and show her that the world might not be full of good guys, but that if she waits on God and grows closer to Him, He will bring the right one along.

Finally, I was able to help a good friend of mine talk through some deep hurts that she is having. I cannot say that I could relate to the pain, but just being able to let her know that she is loved, by God and by me made a difference.

I am not posting all of this in a blog to show that I am some amazing person that just always goes out of my way to help everyone. I know that without God's help, I would be useless. God does some pretty amazing stuff, and I am just lucky when I get to be a part of it. He doesn't have to use me, but He does sometimes and I am more than blessed for that. I, Jenna Reynolds, didn't do anything for these people. God, the Lord of everything, did this. I was just the vessel that God chose to use this time. And I thank God that I got the beautiful opportunity to talk to the hearts of these boys and girls. God does more than the eye can see. I didn't expect to get much out of this week besides getting a day off, but God doesn't always do what we expect, now does He?

If it's gotta start sometime, why not now?

I am not really sure where this post is going to lead to, but I feel like I should be writing it. You and I have grown up in a society that is non-stop. We get everything so quickly. We have drive through restaurants (to get our food fast), we have wifi (to get internet wherever we go), and if we have to wait more than 1o minutes to do anything we get frustrated. Why is it that we want everything so quickly. Where has patience gone? We expect to go to church once a week and get our weekly "dose" of God. Then we go back to our petty lives and keep living the way we did the week before. God absolutely does not call us to this. He desires for us to be so on fire for Him that we can't help but talk to Him constantly and to talk to others about Him constantly. He doesn't want us to dread reading our Bibles, praying, or talking about Him. We get so caught up in the day to day STUFF, that we forget the most important thing. Our relationship with our Heavenly Father. HE is the reason we live, and HE should be what we reflect.

I know that personally, I have found it hard to stay in the Word. I know it sounds awful, but I have (many times) found it...well to be blunt...boring. I couldn't get into it. I skimmed the words without really taking in how it applied to my life. I know that I am not the only one who struggles with this. But I have also found that parts in the Bible can be more than interesting. At our small group one week we were talking about a verse in Matthew that people tend to skip over.

Matthew 27:51-53

At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook and the rocks split. The TOMBS broke open and the BODIES of many HOLY PEOPLE who had DIED were raised to life. They came out of the tombs, and after Jesus' resurrection they WENT INTO THE HOLY CITY AND APPEARED TO MANY PEOPLE.

......Dead people, walking around. It's like a zombie apocalypse. I had never, EVER, read that part of the story. Or at least if I did, I wasn't paying any attention. THERE WERE DEAD PEOPLE WALKING AROUND AND TALKING TO PEOPLE! How freakin scary would that be. Imagine your great great grandpa was Moses, and he had been dead for years then he all of a sudden showed up at your door...Freaky! I don't know about you, but I laugh out loud every time I hear that verse now. I find it incredible that people just don't see God's humor.

I guess we just expect that people in the Bible experienced God in a different way then we do. But why? We see people who have lost their pulse, come back from the dead. But we blame that type of stuff on our new technology right? Imagine if you were in a graveyard, right now, just visiting and people started coming out of their graves. Would you not pee your pants? I would! I would probably pass out...or maybe pee my pants and then pass out. I cannot imagine having my grandparents come to our house after they have been dead for years..

God has some pretty intense stories in there that are there for us. Not just as stories, the Bible is LIVING AND ACTIVE. It still applies. Sure, it was written a longggg time ago, but it still applies. God works through it to this day. People say that God no longer speaks to His people, but I beg to differ. I hear God all the time. I hear Him when I turn on my radio, and Air1 plays the song that I just needed to hear. I hear God when I hear my baby cousins giggling their rears off after a tickle fight. I hear God when I talk to my mom, my sister, my friends. I hear God when I am in the lowest pit, in the depths of despair, and He speaks directly to my heart. I hear God when I hear my favorite birds song. I hear God when I go to a CIY conference and I stop singing to hear His people worshiping Him with abandon. I hear God all the time. He still talks to me. He still talks to you. We just need to hear Him.

Another thing that kinda bothers me is the fact that we can't "see" God. I have heard the excuse that we can't see God, so why should we believe in Him. That's crazy, just look at the people in your life, the trees on your block (I friggin love trees), the babies in your family. How can you not see God in the face of a child. The innocence and pure love that an infant displays is a perfect picture of the God that I serve. I see God everywhere, and when I don't see Him, it's when I am closing MY eyes and MY heart to His creation.

God doesn't call us to fit it, He doesn't call us to go with the flow. Or do whatever is easiest and less painful. He calls us to go into all the world for Him. It's not about us guys. It's just not. God should be the center point for all that we do. God needs to be our life support. If we rely on the world or on people, we will only be let down time and time again. But God will not let us down, He is always there to bring us through every trial or tribulation.

And we can't wait until tomorrow to do this.

We need to rise up NOW. Guys, I know procrastination. I am the best at it, but when we let procrastination come before God, our priorities get all out of whack. We can't wait anymore. God doesn't call us to follow Him..tomorrow, three weeks from now, or on our death bed. We are called to GO. NOW. Not when we are done with school and not when we are "grown up". God used kids like us all the time, and He still does. We can do such incredible things for God if we just get past our own selfish desires and start serving God first, instead of ourselves.

He has given so much for us, so why is it so hard for us to give our time and energy for Him? We are lazy, I am lazy, and it needs to stop. Laziness is getting in the way of our relationship with Christ and nothing should be more important than the Alpha and Omega.

Am I really complaining?

I have come to the recent realization of how selfish my week has been. Not entirely selfish, but there have been some pretty selfish reactions to things. First off, my car is messing up. It just started off not starting, but it has gone downhill and now has a mind of its own. How you ask? Well, she now decides whether or not to stay turned on...while I am driving. Going 35 down 75th and Mission? Nah, I think I'll take a pit stop. Right in the middle of the road. Heading home from an awesome day at Worlds of Fun with Adam and Fallon in the car. Going 65 down the highway. Nope, this car needs a break, so she decides to shut off..Again. So, I took it to my uncle who decided we needed a new distributor, $200. A small price to pay if it fixes my car and gets me back on the road, I think. But no, it can't be that simple now can it? In fact, the car decided to stop twice in one day..within hours of each other. Awesome. And the last time it happened..yesterday, I couldn't get it to start back up again. I sat in my car, bawling my eyes out, filled with frustration. Just waiting to get picked up by my parents. It is frustrating, I understand that. God understands that. But I was putting my wants and needs above trusting God. He understands that I want to take a Louisville Slugger to both headlights (Carrie Underwood reference), but He wants me to fully rely on Him. Even for the little things. I have my health, my family, and my friends, and I am freaking out about a stupid vehicle? It's silly. God doesn't expect me to be happy about it, I understand that, but if I can't put my reliance on Him for the little things, what makes me think I will be able to for the big stuff? God is more powerful than a car, and more powerful than the emotions that can come from this teenage girl. He can handle me at my weakest and most vulnerable state, and I need to come to Him with everything. Even car troubles. Even the silly little things that don't really matter too much. Who am I to say I am a follower of Christ, but turn around and ignore Him through my petty problems? Not a good one, I dare say. But God loves me, even when I forget to bring the small stuff to His feet. He knows that I am an emotional wreak of a girl sometimes, and He's okay with that. I couldn't ask for a better God to love. He knows me through and through and somehow, He loves me anyway.